


Incoherent Thoughts

by armadil_Lo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: M/M, mentions of Gavin - Freeform, mentions of Ray - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armadil_Lo/pseuds/armadil_Lo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stream of consciousness and the series of events that occur when Michael packs up and leaves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incoherent Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [percolating](https://archiveofourown.org/users/percolating/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Like Colours Meshing, Incoherently](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4466768) by [percolating](https://archiveofourown.org/users/percolating/pseuds/percolating). 



Michael realises something. 

He's vaguley known it for a long time now. (But it's late and it's dark and the scars on his front and back itch and--)

For some reason it is this thought that clearly forms in his head for the first time.

Everyone he knows in Austin knows Gavin as well.

And every single one of them chose to put Gavin first over Michael himself. Everyone but Ray.

And Michael would never forgive himself if he drags Ray with him on this downward spiral he can feel coming. 

This downward spiral that has probably already started.

 

He has to get out.

Just like he had to get out of Jersey when shit hit the fan there. 

(And maybe this really just speaks volumes about Michael's tendency to run away when shit hits the fan.)

But this time he can't swap to another college. (It's not like he has his parents' hesitant support anymore.)

And yet. 

He has to get _out_.

He bolts upright in the bed. The urge to start running is overwhelming.

 

So Michael begins to pack.

But it's strange because he doesn't take a lot.

(And really the one thing he wants to take with him right now is that stupid fucking diamond necklace. How dumb is that?)

He briefly thinks of Ray (amazing, incredible Ray who has been there for him through all of this bullshit) waking alone in the apartment tomorrow and realising--

Ray doesn't deserve any of this.

(Or is it really that Michael doesn't want Ray to see him when he hits rock bottom?)

His hands shake as he starts writing a note.

 

The note is rushed, sloppy, barely what one could call heartfelt.

But it is all Michael has left in him.

And through the cracks, that old defense mechanism, crossed out words because he doesn't mean it. 

(He never did, he swears.)

But he's in a rush. 

He can't stay here.

It's creeping up on him even now as he closes the door behind himself.

 

* * *

 

Michael can't believe his luck.

He has no clue where he's going, no clue what his plan is.

He's breathing a little bit too fast. 

(But is that from the emotional turmoil that's been building up for months? 

Or the physical exertion he's just done in these past minutes?)

No clue of anything but somehow he ends up on the road with the pounding music.

And somehow he bumps into a very familiar form.

 

Slurred words form an apology (and oh god, oh god, oh _fucking_ god.) A British accent.

It's too much. It's too much right now. (Not right now with a half-empty backpack hanging from one shoulder and thoughts literally everywhere.)

(Thoughts like how much Michael desperately wants to grab him, hug him, kiss him, but--)

"What's your name, mate?"

...But this idiot doesn't even know who he is anymore. (And he can't _breathe_.)

Gavin doesn't deserve this either. 

"I- I _can't_." 

 

Michael's legs move of their own accord.

( _I can't breathe_.)

( _I can't think_.)

( _I can't feel_.)

( _I can't talk to you, tell you how fucking much I loved you. I_ still _love you_.)

He's another block further when he speaks again.

"I miss you."

 

But nobody deserves this.

Ray doesn't deserve this. (Some best friend who's been so closed off since this whole ordeal went down--)

Gavin doesn't deserve this. (Some person who he doesn't need to remember constantly pulling him down too--)

Everything has always been Michael's fault.

Everyone chose rightly. Chose the sun over the moon. 

(And maybe Ray is misguided but he'll realise his mistake when he reads the note. Or so Michael hopes.)

 

 

And so he runs.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of feels, okay? ._.
> 
> Can't wait for the sequel!


End file.
